Marriage Counselling

Introduction

A substantial degree of self-discovery and increased self-awareness can be gained through our courageous efforts to address emerging difficulties in our marriages. In that closer space of marital intimacy, our inner world is constantly impacted on by our spouse. In colloquial terms, we say that our spouse is constantly pressing our buttons.

Our marriage then, will always give us the opportunity to begin to know our inner world more; to grow in understanding of our inner being. It is the emotional intensity of our marriage that brings about deeper responses within ourselves, in this way illuminating the depths of our being, different from the more superficial or shallow responses we experience as a result of encounters with acquaintances.

With professional help, our understanding and consciousness of ourselves increases. We are able to choose to work with our inner reactions differently, and in this way experience an increased freedom to respond to our spouse in ways that are both constructive to the building of relationship, as well as positively contributing to our own personal growth.

We offer two different forms of intervention for those who desire to address the difficulties they are experiencing in their marriages – Marriage Counselling and Marital Therapy. Furthermore, we facilitate a marriage enrichment course for those who want to help their marriage to grow.

 

Marriage Counselling

Though there is a distinction between marriage counselling and marital therapy, they are similar in some fundamental ways. Both endeavour to address the difficulties that have emerged in the marriage relationship. Both are aimed at breaking redundant patterns of relating that are perpetuating a relational fit that leaves both parties unable to emerge or evolve to deeper ways of loving, and more constructive ways of communicating.

The distinction between marriage counselling and marital therapy lies in the means by which that same objective and goal is achieved, as well as the depth to which the underlying causality of the problem is addressed. In this respect, it would be true to say that their difference also lies in the degree to which permanent change can be guaranteed; marriage counselling bringing about change that is not always sustainable given the fact that the underlying root causes of the manifesting problems (that is, our respective inner beings) have not been adequately addressed.

Marriage counselling is more directive than marital therapy, the counsellor being instructive and intervening in a way that prescribes to the couple a more constructive way of relating to one another. It is the highlighting of redundant patterns of relating and the learning, through instruction, of new ways of relating. It appeals to those that are seeking behavioural changes, rather than any deeper healing within themselves.

 

Guidelines for Marriage Counselling

  1. Marriage counselling is generally a short-term process, it being on average, about 8-12 sessions in duration.
  2. It takes the form of regular weekly sessions.
  3. If you need to cancel a session, we require 24 hours notice to prevent being charged for the session.
  4. Each session is between 50-60 minutes in duration.
  5. Once the marriage counselling has commenced, the counsellor will not communicate with either of the individuals alone. If one of the individuals contacts the counsellor for some reason, this conversation will be disclosed at the next session. During the duration of the counseling, if there are aspects of daily life at home that are concerning you, it is usually most helpful to raise your concerns at the next session or alternately, to seek the support of an individual counsellor or therapist.
  6. A stint of short-term marriage counseling is seldom a long-term solution to marital difficulties. It would be incumbent on the couple to accept the fact that they might need to re-enter marriage counseling on a regular basis if they sincerely want their marriage to last.
  7. In terms of the account, most medical aids do cover marriage counselling. If the couple is on medical aid, the counsellor will submit the account directly, and the medical aid will pay the counsellor directly. Once the medical aid is exhausted, the couple will receive a monthly account at the last session of each month, which needs to be settled within 30 days in order to benefit from the private rate being offered.
  8. Cost per session: R900.