RJBOULLE

Marital Therapy

We offer two different forms of intervention for those who desire to address the difficulties they are experiencing in their marriages – Marriage Counselling and Marital Therapy. Furthermore, we facilitate a marriage enrichment course for those who want to help their marriage to grow.

Details

  • Marital therapy is necessarily a long-term process, it taking 1-2 years for there to be any permanent benefit from the process.

  • It takes the form of regular weekly or bi-weekly sessions.

  • Each session is between 50-60 minutes in duration.

  • Once marital therapy has commenced, the therapist will not communicate with either of the individuals alone. If one of the individuals contacts the therapist for any reason, this conversation will be disclosed at the next session.

  • In terms of the account, most medical aids do cover marital therapy. If the couple is on medical aid, the therapist will submit the account directly, and the medical aid will pay the therapist directly. Once the medical aid is exhausted, the couple will receive a monthly account at the last session of each month. The account needs to be settled before the first session of the new month.

  • Cost per session: R1 250

 
 

Introduction

A substantial degree of self-discovery and increased self-awareness can be gained through our courageous efforts to address emerging difficulties in our marriages. In that closer space of marital intimacy, our inner world is constantly impacted on by our spouse. In colloquial terms, we say that our spouse is constantly pressing our buttons.

Our marriage then will always give us the opportunity to begin to know our inner world more; to grow in understanding of our inner being. It is the emotional intensity of our marriage that brings about deeper responses within ourselves, in this way illuminating the depths of our being, different from the more superficial or shallow responses we experience as a result of encounters with acquaintances.

With professional help, our understanding and consciousness of ourselves increase. We are able to choose to work with our inner reactions differently, and in this way, experience increased freedom to respond to our spouse in ways that are both constructive to the building of relationship, as well as positively contributing to our own personal growth.

We offer two different forms of intervention for those who desire to address the difficulties they are experiencing in their marriages – Marriage Counselling and Marital Therapy. Furthermore, we facilitate a marriage enrichment course for those who want to help their marriage to grow.


Marital Therapy

Marital therapy is a more non-directive approach to addressing the issues that have emerged in your marriage. It is based on an underlying belief that as I grow in awareness of myself, getting more in touch with my own inner woundedness and its outward manifestations in my interpersonal style, I am able to access increased freedom to respond to my spouse in ways that positively contribute to her growth as well as mine. In practical terms, I begin to relate differently, contributing to the emergence of a renewed pattern of relating in the marriage relationship.

This form of therapy helps each individual embark on a journey of self-discovery. There is an acknowledgement that, in essence, we are constantly holding up a mirror to one another in our marriage, as we project onto one another all our unresolved issues relating to love, emanating from our first experience of love in our childhoods. This process of projection is unavoidable and inevitable in the closed space of human intimacy. Through therapy, we discover that we are never fully aware of how our past inner woundedness is directly impacting our experience of need frustration and concomitant emotional responses, in our marriage relationship. Put simply, marital therapy helps us to identify those aspects of our current behaviour that are a function of our past, and those aspects that are valid and appropriate responses to our present experience in our marriage relationship.

The goal of marital therapy is to create a marital environment that is conducive to the ongoing inner healing of the two individuals. That is, the establishment of ways of relating that prompts the growth and healing process in one another, different from implicitly maintaining personal stagnation. The fruits of marital therapy are an increased experience of safety in being vulnerable in your marital relationship, allowing the other to get to know you at the depth of your being.


Recommended Reading

The contents of the books listed below are in keeping with the paradigm in which we work and can be a helpful resource for those who are inclined to supplement their therapy with reading.

Bradley, B & Furrow, J (2013) - Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy for Dummies

Bradshaw, J. (1992) - Creating Love: The Next Great Stage of Growth. NY: Bantam

Hendrix, H (1993) - Getting the love you want. London: Simon & Schuster

Hendrix, H (1995) - Keeping the love you find: A single person’s guide to achieving lasting love. London: Pocket Books

Johnson, S (2008) - Hold me Tight

Johnson, S (2016) - Created for Connection: The “Hold me Tight” Guide for Christian Couples

Richo, D (2002) - How to be an Adult in Relationships: The five keys to Mindful Loving. Boston: Shambhala

Richo, D (2013) - How to be an Adult in Love: Letting Love in Safely and Showing it recklessly

Stevens, BA & Roediger, E (2017) - Breaking Negative Relationship Patterns: A Schema Therapy Self-Help and Support Book

Welwood, J (2006) - Perfect Love. Imperfect Relationships: Healing the Wound of the Heart. Boston: Shambhala

Welwood, J (1991) - Journey of the Heart: The Path of Conscious Love.New York: Harper

Welwood, J (2015) - Conscious Relationships: Where is your Relationship going? (Audio Book)

Whitfield, CL (1993) - Boundaries & Relationships. Florida: Health Communications

Yerkovich, M & Yerkovich, K (2006) - How we love Workbook: Making Deeper Connections in Marriage