Description of schema modes

There is some diversity in the way schema therapists identify and name schema modes. What follows is a comprehensive list of modes and definitions drawn from several sources within the schema therapy literature.

Healthy adult

This mode maintains a healthy integration and balance between four major kinds of activity:

1. Engaging in rational, reality-based and practical problem-orientated behaviour such as obtaining information, evaluating sources of information, problem-solving, planning and performing practical tasks, in all important life areas (work, family and intimate relationships, social activities, health and leisure activities).

2. Being humanly (emotionally) aware and present and intelligently engaged with what has meaning and feels authentic. In touch with personal needs and emotional responses to situations while exercising discrimination and self-control with how this is expressed. Being able to empathize with others and appreciate and respond to what they are experiencing.

3. Acting from democratic values and mutual respect for the needs, perspectives and experience of self and others; taking responsibility for choices and actions; making and keeping commitments.

4. Exercising the metacognitive capacity to step back and observe dispassionately (mindfully), and reflect on, one’s own experience and the experience and behaviour of others.

Child modes

1: Vulnerable Child modes

 Lonely Child: Feels alone with no one to turn to when faced with confusing or distressing experiences or situations. Because parents have not been available physically or emotionally to help the child with difficult emotions, the person feels empty, alone, socially unacceptable, undeserving of love, unloved and unlovable.

Abandoned Child: An intense and engulfing experience of being all alone in an endless dark place. Often the result of very early experiences of sudden separation from the mother or other primary caretaker.

Abused Child: Feels mistreated, abused, betrayed, and often frightened, and defenseless. Anticipates neglect and abuse and there is usually a strong Punitive Parent voice.

Humiliated / Shamed Child: Feels worthless and incapacitated by shame, anticipates further humiliation.

Dependent Child: Feels incapable of making own decisions and overwhelmed by adult responsibilities. Believes that s/he needs a strong person at his/her side to guide him/her and make the right decisions. Usually the result of overprotective parents who failed to encourage development of autonomy and self-reliance.

Hopeless Child: Feels defeated and has given up hope of ever being properly cared for, understood or having basic needs met.

2: Angry/Unsocialized Child modes

Angry child: Experiences a deep sense of injustice, and feels anger about being unfairly treated, misunderstood, misrepresented, invalidated, dismissed or disregarded

Enraged child: Experiences an intense rage with an impulse to retaliate against and hurt people, including physically assaulting them and killing them (‘murderous rage’), or to lash out and throw or smash objects in the environment.

Impulsive Child: Acts impulsively and without reflection or restraint or capacity for self-control or delay of gratification or regard for the possible consequences for self or others.

Undisciplined child: Lacks spontaneous and intrinsic motivation, usually as a result of having become emotionally disconnected, either generally, or because of fear of failure or of making mistakes. Has limited tolerance for frustration or discomfort and cannot force him/herself to engage with, let alone finish basic tasks that are necessary for being organized, cooperative living, or developing important life skills.

3: Healthy child modes

Happy/contented Child: Feels at peace because core emotional needs are currently met. S/he feels loved, contented, connected, satisfied, fulfilled, protected, praised, worthwhile, nurtured, guided, understood, validated, self-confident, competent, appropriately autonomous or self-reliant, safe, resilient, strong, in control, adaptable, optimistic, and spontaneous.  

Creative/authentic child: The source of creativity, curiosity, playfulness and a sense of authentic engagement with life.

Maladaptive coping modes

1: Surrender modes

Compliant Surrender: Acts from an underlying subjugation schema and focuses on meeting the needs of others without attention to one’s own needs. Is subservient, self-deprecating, submissive, placating, pleasing, and reassurance-seeking towards others out of fear of conflict or rejection. Is likely to feel exploited and build resentment which may or may not be expressed.

Self-sacrificer/Rescuer: Focuses excessively on meeting the needs of others, with little attention to meeting own needs. May be directed towards individuals or groups to whom one feels loyalty (family, or a social organization, and/or towards those that seem to be weak or in trouble or victimized (which may include animals as well as other human beings). This mode is often more satisfying and rewarding at least in the short term than Compliant Surrender, but in the long term can lead to burnout, and chronic fatigue.

Self-pity/Victim: Experiences self as a victim, whether of mistreatment by others or of circumstances and responds with self-pity, often expressed as “poor me.” Feels, helpless and is passive, waiting to be rescued. In this mode individuals appear distressed and child-like, but this is not a Vulnerable Child. Also called the Helpless Surrenderer (Simpson, 2019).

Surrender to Damaged Child modes: In these modes, individuals behave as if they are like the child, with the same beliefs, emotions and behaviours as when the childhood pattern was set up.

2: Detached / Avoidant modes

 Detached protector: Withdraws psychologically from the pain of the EMSs by emotionally detaching. Shuts off all emotions, disconnects from others, rejects help, and functions in an almost robotic manner. May remain quite functional.

 Spaced out Protector: Shuts off emotions by spacing out or feeling sleepy. Can give rise to an experience of being foggy or even unreal, and dysfunctional states of cognitive slowing and depersonalization.

 Avoidant Protector : Avoids triggering by behavioral avoidance and keeps away from situations or cues that my trigger distress for example, by evoking anxiety or involving conflict with others.

 Detached Self-Soother: Shuts off emotions by engaging in activities that soothe, stimulate or distract. These behaviour are often addictive or compulsive. There are four categories:

a.       Excessive focus on adaptive behaviour such as working (workaholism) - occupationally or housework for example.

b.       Excessive time spent on unproductive activities that are soothing and shut out unpleasant feelings such as playing computer games, watching television, fantasizing, overeating (comfort eating), watching pornography, taking ‘recreational’ drugs (self-medicating).

c.       Excessive time spent in compensatory daydreaming about finding the man/woman of one’s dreams, becoming successful, wealthy or famous in the absence of any realistic plan likely to lead to achieving such goals. See Over-compensatory daydreamer under overcompensation modes.

d.       Excessive engagement in activities that are risky and exciting such as gambling, dangerous sports, promiscuous sex. Also called Detached Self-Stimulator.

Angry Protector : Uses a ‘wall of anger' to protect him/herself from others who are perceived as threatening. Displays of anger serve to keep others at a safe distance to protect against being hurt.

3: Overcompensation modes

 Social Over-compensator: In this mode, the individual presents him or herself as friendly and even warm, and often as cheerful and happy. But it is “fake happy.” It is a social façade that hides genuine feelings and experiences, denies or minimizes problems and does not allow authentic engagement.

Comic Protector: Makes jokes or smiles and laughs as a way of avoiding sensitive topics entirely, or to distract and steer away from them when they arise in conversation.

Pollyanna Over-compensator: First identified in people with eating disorders (Simpson 2019), but by no means confined to them, this mode “maintains a persistently positive attitude, even in the face of difficult events and interpersonal tensions. Avoids genuine assertiveness and minimizes feelings that might lead to criticism or rejection (e.g. authentic anger, sadness, shame). Excessive 'positive thinking', finds a 'silver lining' even in the most difficult situations or circumstances, whilst unwittingly invalidating one's own or others' struggles and difficulties. May use platitudes such as 'Everything happens for a reason', 'It was meant to be', as a means of attempting to reduce others' feelings of distress.

Over-compensatory daydreamer: Although an overcompensation, individuals in this mode are quite passive and self-soothing so it is categorized and described under Detached Self-Soother above under Avoidant coping modes. Attention and Approval Seeker Engages in inappropriately extravagant, dramatic and exaggerated behaviour (including sexually seductive behaviour) as a way of impressing others and seeking to get their attention and admiration

Self-Aggrandizer: Behaves in an entitled, competitive, grandiose, abusive, or status-seeking way. Is almost completely self-absorbed and show little empathy for the needs or feelings of others. Expects to be treated as special and does not believe s/he should have to follow the rules that apply to everyone else. Brags or behaves in a self-aggrandizing manner to inflate his/her sense of self.

Over-controllers: These protect from perceived or real threats by focusing attention on details, ruminating, and exercising extreme control.

1. A Perfectionistic Overcontroller focuses on getting things perfect to attain a sense of control and safety and ward off misfortune and criticism.

2. An Eating Disordered Overcontroller is an elaboration of the Perfectionistic Overcontroller with a focus on controlling body mass and becoming/remaining thin. Relentlessly applies perfectionistic and usually unrealistic about goal weight and foods that must be avoided.

3. An Obsessive-compulsive Overcontroller suppresses uncomfortable feelings by neutralizing them with repetitive ritualistic behaviours which may be overt (repetitive washing or checking or tidying and cleaning the house), or covert (such as repeating words or phrases intended to neutralize whatever uncomfortable emotion has been triggered).

4. A Suspicious Overcontroller (or Paranoid Overcontroller) anticipates that others will be malevolent, betray, and want to harm him/he. In this mode, the individual is overly sensitized to seeing evidence for these things and vigilantly scans for them. This is typically a way of coping with an Abused Child with a Mistrust/abuse schema.

5. A Scolding Overcontroller issues orders to others in a domineering way and makes belittling remarks as a way of controlling their behaviour. This is usually a component of a Self-Aggrandiser.

Complaining Protector: Individuals in this mode feel victimized and embittered, but, in contrast to individuals in the Self-pity/Victim mode, they are not passive but vent their anger in a constant stream of complaints, sometimes directed at other people or institutions or the world in general, sometimes at the person they are talking to. This is an externalizing version of the Self-pity/Victim mode, sometimes called the Help-rejecting complainer mode because any attempt to offer advice or help is ignored or dismissed.

Hypervigilant Clinger: In this mode, individuals react to impending separation by prolonging the contact, refusing to leave, clinging, or even begging (may also be blended with the Scolding Over-controller described above). This is usually a way of coping with separation anxiety and an Abandoned Child.

Bully and Attack: A more extreme version of the Scolding Over-controller. Individuals in this mode actively attack, hurt others, often demeaning and humiliating them in a controlled, strategic and sadistic way. This can involve bullying by means of verbal and physical abuse or threats. This mode also includes sexual coercion and antisocial and even criminal acts.

Conning and Manipulative: Often an extreme form of overcompensation that results in abusive and even criminal behaviour in which the individual cons, lies, or manipulates in a manner designed to achieve a specific goal, which either involves victimising others or escaping punishment.

Predator: Another extreme form of overcompensation that results in abusive and even criminal behaviour in which the individual focuses on eliminating a threat, rival, obstacle, or enemy in a cold, ruthless, and calculating manner.

Repetitive Negative Thinking modes

 Modes characterized by repetitive rehearsal (rumination) of unproductive thoughts about negative themes that generate and maintains distress (usually in the form of anxiety and depression):

1. A Worrying Overcontroller ruminates excessively on things that can go wrong and how to fix them. This is usually a way of trying to compensate for the inability to tolerate uncertainty. Some people with this mode believe that worrying helps them cope better. 

2. A Catastrophising Overcontroller ruminates on and may actively visualize the worst possible outcomes that might occur.

3. A Pessimistic Ruminator focuses on repetitive thoughts related to despair and hopelessness about ever being able to overcome obstacles to overcoming schema-based experiences such as a sense of unworthiness (Defectiveness/Shame schema) or social unacceptability (Social isolation schema), persistent failure (Failure schema), or incompetence (Incompetence/Dependence schema).

4. The covert form of an Obsessive-Compulsive Overcontroller (see above) repeatedly (and sometimes desperately) rehearses images or thoughts as a way of attempting to neutralize other distressing images or thoughts: for example ritualistic counting or praying or “thinking a good thought to get rid of a bad thought.”

Maladaptive Parent Modes

Parent modes are introjects. That is, they are like recordings of the behaviour of parents (or other authority or caretaker figures). They are reexperienced in the present, sometimes as active voices (with for example punitive, shaming, demanding, guilt-inducing or anxiety-inducing messages), and at other times, as a sense or feeling of the parent figure and the implicit messages that s/he conveyed. Several of the modes that do not feature widely in the current schema therapy literature are adapted from Peled (2016). An actual parent may combine more than one of the elements below, so that there can be blended Parent Modes that combine several of them.

Punitive Parent: Internalized voice that criticizes, threatens punishment and punishes in an unforgiving manner, explicitly telling you that you are worthless and deserve punishment.

Shaming Parent: Internalized voice of a parent that shames and humiliates.

Demanding Parent: Internalized voice that continually pushes and pressures you to meet excessively high standards. Speaks with “shoulds” and sets rigid rules and standards.

Guilt-inducing Parent: Internalized voice combines punitive and demanding aspects and induces guilt by inculcating the belief that you “should” have acted in a certain way and are “bad” for not having done so.

Abusive Parent: This internalized voice combines all of the above (Punitive, Shaming, Demanding and Guilt-Inducing) and is an introject of someone who is often in Bully and Attack mode.

 Neglectful Parent: In contrast to the Parent modes listed so far, which are often present are voices with clearly articulated messages (which may now sound like one’s own voice or just a whisper), this mode is a memory of a parent who was not available enough, for example because the mother was overburdened with other children, depressed or busy with other activities. So, it is experienced not so much as the presence of a voice but as an absence, as an adult who may be physically present but out of reach when it comes to meeting one’s needs and so conveying the implicit message that “your needs are not important.”

 Permissive Parent: This parent voice is overly permissive and indiscriminately permission-giving. These are the messages from a parent who failed to set limits or to require self-control, resulting in a “spoiled” child who has limited self-discipline and behaves in an entitled manner.

 Anxious Parent: Internalized sense of a parent who does not feel safe in the world and conveys that lack of security and safety to the child implicitly or explicitly.

Overprotective Parent

Internalized parent voice that encourages enmeshment and dependency, telling you that you can’t cope on your own, can’t make your own decisions, don’t know what you feel, and must listen to this voice in order to find out. This is often blended with an Anxious Parent (see above).

Naïve Parent

This internalized parent is immature, naïve, easily influenced by others, tends to accept people and circumstances as they are. This mode fails to teach right from wrong, anticipate consequences, provide guidelines for handling everyday life situations, and supply a sense of safety (Peled, 2016). This might be a parent with a Pollyanna Overcompensator (see above).

Victim Parent

Internalized voice of a parent who is self-pitying, feeling helpless, focusing on others being responsible for his/her bad experiences. The parent may have been primarily in the internalizing Self-Pity/Victim mode or primarily in the externalizing Complaining Protector mode. Uses his/her suffering to keep others emotionally tied to him/her. Does this by inducing guilt (see guilt-inducing Parent above), or actively complaining and blaming (“emotional blackmail”) and/or sick-role behaviours.

Chaotic/Unpredictable Parent

This internalized mode is unstable, emotionally labile, unpredictable, disorganized, and often frantic. This mode is frightening and paralyzing and results in a state of constant hypervigilance in the child (and in the adult living with this introject).